Homeward Bound

Well here we are in Ponta Delgado our last port before the run across the Bay of Biscay  and the treats she has stored up for us, for better or worse. Time to tidy up some of the stories about some of the characters I have introduced you to. First though a big thank you to all who have been following this waffle, especially Hilary's friends in the Principality who will shortly have to endure the story of her two Whist victories and the many near misses (I got dealt bad hands), how she is extremely pleased with herself for answering some difficult football questions (Yawn) the outfit planning for formal nights, with I am assured from reliable sources colour co-ordinated underwear, and she is still in with a chance of winning the tidiest knicker draw on board award. Time keeping I am pleased to report has improved dramatically, but procrastination levels are still very high. I get regular updates on current events from around the ship from my news "stringer" Malcolm scoop Tucker his sources embedded within the quoits Mafia (another with only two wins to his name, but unlike his Celtic counterparts he is not blaming equipment malfunctions). The short shorts man continues to make an even worse impression by his obnoxious behaviour, barging people out of the way, mainly female, playing silly burgers in the lift trying to shut doors as people try to get in and throwing cutlery at people after taking it off their table as they are settling down to eat. It was noted that perhaps when he was circumcised that the wrong bit was chucked away. Don't be surprised if there is an accident when he chooses to be obnoxious with the wrong person, he is definitely "Cruising for a bruising". The Mogadon Circle continue their daily meetings at the singles coffee morning, one or two have managed to escape but a few remain in captivity. I have to take a short break from writing this piece as a lady just across from me in Costa Coffee is a spitting image of the female chimpanzee scientist in "Planet of the Apes" or if you went to Marlborough Secondary Modern School, Miss Copsie (I now believe in reincarnation) Meanwhile back at the ranch the windows are drawn, but everything else is real. The Lady in Yellow has been circulating the ship like a lost soul looking for her long lost love, cue soundtrack Kate Bush Wuthering Heights, (You remember the bloke from Village People) as he had not been sighted for several days there were two schools of thought. The simple theory was he had got off. The second and my personal favourite was the black widow hypothesis, after having done the dirty deed and exhausted him by removing all his vital juices from him she had bit his head off and flushed him down the Loo (which on this occasion was working) too far fetched, yeah your right. He appeared on black and white night, looking like one of the Bee Gees doing Saturday Night fever number. He was constantly on the move over the four floors of the Atrium doing his best to be a moving target and avoiding the afore mentioned lady, who for reasons best known to herself turned for the B&W evening in predominantly Red. I think this an affair that has run its course or more accurately its credit limit. The Educationalist continues on her merry way, never with the same people for very long, and I think she has put her husband into detention for either smiling or talking to someone during class or interrupting the teacher, sorry Miss, educationalist. It is also worth noting that quizzes, a mainstay of cruising has become an experience to avoid since the intelligencie quiz team turn up for every quiz on board and promptly win it and gaining the famed bottle of P&O wine much to everyone's disgust. Don't get me wrong it's not sour grapes or being sore losers, it's the method, the lack of good grace and some amazing coincidences surrounding their wins. According to quoit mafia sources they done the same trick on a Cunnard cruise and ended up both cruises with a zero bar bill. To see if you are paying attention answer this question and post your answer in the comments section at the end of this blog, no googling. Which country was the first Laboratory located in? If you get it right you are as smart as the only four people on Oceana who got it right. Personally I think the right thing to do would be miss a few quizzes, donate the prize to someone else, it's the way you win not the winning. Rant over. When I get back home I will add some photographs to the blog when I have a fast internet connection. I hope you have enjoyed my ramblings. I would like to thank my travelling companions Brenda, Malcolm and Hilary for making this cruise so much fun and a memorable cruise, and Hilary for being such a good sport, so thanks Ladies and Gentlemen and you Hilary. 

St Maarten

Ponta Dalgado the Azores just by Doris's Bar

On the way home Bay of Biscay nothing changed there then