Dancing with Costa

Day one in Costa on deck 5, at times it’s like the London to Brighton vintage car rally with the number of disability scooters passing through, it is like a convoy of armored vehicles on there way to the front, one of them in particular with a basket on the front driven by a flamboyant dressed lady has 6-7 teddy bears strapped to the front, please forgive me but it reminds me of the radiator on the dustcart. We have just had the Captains cocktail party or the parade of the peacocks where the female of the species and a few blokes strut their stuff and try and out display one another by various means, and they also try and trap the Captain in conversation whilst the other half snaps a bespoke picture to show the folks at the office or WI “We know the Captain quite well”poor sod has to do it all again with the 8-30 pm sitting. You can tell all the old hands at the cruise game they are pretty close to the bar area where the waiters replenish the free booze trays and they ambush the waiters when they pass by with a full tray, that way you can stockpile 4-5 free samples courtesy of Mr P&O (As taught to me by my Social Secretary Janet). Now the ballroom dancing has started in the Atrium, the more serious exponents produce little bags that contain their dancing pumps the very reason for taking the cruise, they also have that smug precocious look of child showing off when they do their thing (they have been rehearsing all year at home with the carpet rolled back, for this moment) and others are putting lesson one of the earlier dance class into practice for the first time. Most of the Ladies are in heaven an awful lot of the blokes are wishing they we’re somewhere else. Like me some chaps are to dancing what Boris Johnson is to diplomacy, but make for great viewing, a disaster slowly unraveling and if all goes to plan there will be no lesson 2, result.