And another thing

I know I promised there would probably not be any more entries but on the last night of the cruise something happened that really annoyed me. Our hard working waiting staff who have looked after us superbly, with humour, patience and skill not to mention long working hours for a small return rely on diners to show their appreciation for all their efforts by marking that thanks with a tip of some description be it large or small whatever a person can manage, most of that money is dispatched back home to the family who that have not seen for up to 9 months (The average length of a contact). Lukas & Rackman had looked after us manfully becoming use to every ones little foibles, getting an extra bowl of ice cream for someone, making sure someone got a double starter, producing something that was not on the menu, the list of their kindness to passengers goes on and on. Roma our beautiful wine waitress who made sure your glass was never empty always had a smile and gave good advice on value for money, and was so excited because her contracted was over when she reached Southampton and was going home to Manila for 3 months to see her children.
Imagine my disgust when 4 people avoided eating in the restaurant that they had attended for the past 22 nights just to avoid having to give someone a tip, in my book is lower than low. Personally I would have found which cabin they were in and made sure their baggage had an accident while being unloaded, but that is not in the nature of these people they just shrugged and said "It happens" and got on with the job. Well it left me with a very sour taste and made me angry that those with so much in comparison go to such lengths to avoid just saying thank you for all that you have done for me. These people will probably never read this blog but I hold you in contempt for your meanness of spirit and deed.

Signing Off

This will probably be the last blog entry for this trip unless something of real interest occurs over the next day and a half. This trip has thrown up some of the most interesting ports I have ever visited I suppose that the English visitor is at an advantage visiting the US and Canada, we share a common language, often murdered, strangled and defiled but the basics remain the same and to a certain degree that knowledge is reinforced by television and film we know a lot of the places and people, a lot are preconceptions that get broken down and proved incorrect. One thing cannot be doubted that away from the mega cities the friendliness of the welcome you are given by local people and the way they will go out of their way to help, coupled to a fierce sense of Civic pride that they have, something that perhaps we have not lost but is certainly on the wane. It might appear that I am on a ship that is filled with odd balls, well only a few and a lot of the times I spot them they are only momentary lapses or slips made by ordinary people, with a few definite exceptions, you know who you are. As we get closer to home and the temperature continues to drop and the wind increases one thing does mystify me, the British males need to wear shorts of varying length, some bordering on the pornographic, others look like they have been taken from a 1920s Boy Scout, both these styles are worn with open toe sandals AND SOCKS pulled up just short of the knees, what is that all about? It would make more sense to put more layers of clothes on rather than peel them off as some of the Ladies choose to put smaller and smaller white tops on to reveal the depth of tan they have managed to acquire during the cruise, judging by some of the used leather skin tones on display many have tanning machines at home that get many hours of use. The other thing that comes to mind is that a cruise by its very definition is not a holiday of denial, the ability to graze 24 hours a day is possible and the area covered by some of the tans goes in no short measure to reinforce this fact. I have met some really charming people on this Cruise special mention must go to Pauline & Ken also from the West Country, we are fortunate enough to have similar senses of humour and most days swop tales of quirkiness we have spotted, they have been top company. Also with my IT support head on my ladies & gents I have been able to help or confuse have been good fun and great to chat to in my office in Costa Coffee ( Have you tried switching it on & off?) As I head off to Southampton successfully avoiding the icebergs, Noro Virus, Seasickness a fall or a stumble I have had a great trip, my last thought as always is I wish Barb's could have shared it.

Up and Down. Down and Up

Only 1,863 miles to home so the bridge inform us at noon, with the little nugget thrown in that during the night we passed within a 100 miles of the Titanic's last resting place. Oh well heave  ho and up she rises, we hit a choppy bit of sea overnight that has steadily increased overnight and has got people hanging on to handrails ready for that extra special bronco buck that comes along every 2-3 minutes, the waiters scurry around as if they have Velcro on their shoes. I have positioned myself at the top of the stairs leading up from the Atrium in the Costa Coffee shop partaking of a large Latte and watching the impromptu cabaret of the staircase two step, does this make me a sadist or a masochist? The best comment heard so far today a Lady on crutches accompanied by her husband approached the head of the stairs and he stopped her from going down, how thoughtful I thought concerned for her safety only for that to be blown away by his next statement " there's shops down there". Yesterday before our current rough spell it was a pleasant day that brought out the sun bathers  and swimmers, I watched this striking guy who is not unlike Matt Lucas in appearance (Little Britain) having a very loud shouted conversation with a  barman before stomping off and jumping into a hot tub spa, imagine my surprise when later at the formal dressed dinner, I saw the same chap dressed to the nines riding into the Medina dinning room on a mobility scooter, perhaps it is Andy from "Little Britain" or who he was modelled on, should I ask for his autograph or X. Some people are very difficult to please the table behind me in the dinning room have provided unwitting entertainment and frustration for me the whole cruise and one of the reasons I have not minded dinning alone. Last nights conversation was a classic, ranging from can't wait to pull into the first Motorway Services area on the way home to have egg and chips, to in case it's cold upon their return the Winter Duvet. Electric Blanket and emergency hot water bottle are strategically placed for ease of access in the airing cupboard. Other topics for complaint have included, compulsory tipping, to few chips on the plate, how slow the lifts are, staff are to familiar with passengers, quality or lack of it with the toilet paper, the extra sanitary precautions taken during the Noro Virus outbreak, the standard of people taking cruises has declined the list goes on, if ignorance is bliss these 4 people are in paradise. Tonight I am invited to a drinks party for previous P &O cruisers, that will offer a rich vein of potential observations and a chance of a free few drinkie poos before dinner, as the drink flows watch the the defences and accents drop. I will do my best to uphold the proud traditions of Wiltshire, oh arr me dear.

We are Sailing

All good things come to an end and we are just about to leave our final port of call Charlotte's Town on Prince Edward Island the setting for the series of novels, Anne of Green Gables, I remember the books being dramatised by the BBC on Sunday tea times in the 1960s with the beautiful ginger haired Kim Braden ( Bernard Braden's daughter) playing Anne who I had a school boy crush on. Other than that cocktail party stopping fact not a lot else happens here in fact it is very rural, tranquil and serene, we have gone a full 360 degrees from our opening port of call New York City. So as we say goodbye to dry land for the next seven days and get ready for the dash across the North Atlantic (back on iceberg watch) you can see everyone offering up silent prayers for good weather and a smooth crossing. First we have to endure that old cruising custom of the "Sailaway" where everyone is supposed to go out on the open decks and sing songs as you pull out of port waving your little union jack flags provided by P&O for the assembled passengers at the crowds on the quay ( Usually 3 hairy arsed stevedores who have just cast off the tethering lines and the local anorak cruise ship spotter) while singing Rule Britannia & Land of Hope and Glory, while little old Ladies go misty eyed as they remember waving the boys off to the Boer War just like this except we sang Goodbye Dolly Grey and I was a young flipitty jibbet back then young man. The DJ is working up the crowd up to a jingoistic fervour that makes you all want to vote UKIP and thoroughly thrash Johhny Foreigner and invade a small country. P&O promote unashamedly these events at every port we leave because you can't have a Sailway without having Champagne or Preseco  in hand to celebrate, with the Booze going at £3.00 a glass and the event lasting 30-45 minutes depending on weather, fervour and visibility it's really good business, now you either enjoy it or find it totally toe curling. Speaking as a company shareholder pass me my song sheet, can we top you up madam?

Quebec

Concrete works, not the first thing you expect to see after traversing down the mighty St Lawrence seaway, after passing under those majestic power pylons taking power to the south of Canada having experienced forests tumbling down to the rivers edge, small hamlets with their own small docks nestling into folds of land laying serenely just above the hide tide mark, opulent buildings perched on top of wooded hillsides like eagles eerie's with magnificent views of the broad sweeping river on its journey to the sea. The practical side of me wonders about forest fires and if they can get insurance and I bet it's a bugger to get out of when it snows an what about bears? Did you see what happened there the practical side overcame the romantic, anyway back to Quebec, apparently there were four other cruise liners in port before us and we had to make do with a berth in the commercial port, hence the stunning view of the concrete works, the gravel plant and the ship yard basin dry dock. I must be honest for such a beautiful and unusual city that Quebec undoubtably is it posses one of the least interesting approaches to port, but that is just being picky as we have had some stunners this trip, just take New York. Once we were cleared to go ashore a fleet of Yellow style American school buses presented themselves to act as the free shuttle service between the ship and the City. If felt I had become an extra in the Partridge Family (60s TV show that made David Cassidy) after a short run into the edge of the old City with the skyline being dominated by turrets, spinnerets and towers mainly green in colour and the proud flag of Quebec fluttering from all of them I walked across a dual carriageway and back into a time capsule. The small criss cross of cobbled streets ever winding upwards to the high arts of the old city are amazing and delight to explore and experience. Having to make several stops on m upward trek I was able to listen to the chirp of the local French accent (Those of you who know me will know that France is no my favourite country or people) it has a lovely sing song lilt an is not harsh to the ear sending you scuttling for an umbrella and raincoat when someone gets into full flow, admit idly all the hand actions and shrugs are still there but or me the greatest of delights was when these friendly people realised you were an English speaking visitor and spoke in such a pleasing accent I found myself asking questions just so I could listen to the accent. I won't bog you down with sites any guidebook will give you a far more informed outlook than mine, it is a great place to wander and just see where yo turn up. I must mention the Chateau de Frontenac which dominates the skyline and for an old train spotter like me the Funicular railway that connects the lower town to the upper town and has great views. While waiting to catch the shuttle back to the ship I sat on a bench  close to the Marina and settled down to some observing, one of the first things I noticed was how fit the locals are and how hard they work at it with dedicated running/cycle ways laid out, the amount of Lycra on display was enough to ignite a box of matches, not only runners and cyclists solo and tandem but also skateboarders, roller bladers, power walkers, dog walkers with dogs so big if you got tired you could saddle it and ride home. I also noticed how few medium size dogs were about but how many small dogs were being carried in bags and tucked inside coat with cute little heads stuck out, more a fashion statement than a practical dog. Compared to the States in Quebec I have hardly seen a fat person until I looked in the plate glass window opposite my bench. At that point along came the bus, thankfully we all waddle on board the springs just about held out back to the port in time for us to have an afternoon cream tea and ponder what we have learnt today, there are a lot of hills in Quebec, but you are only visiting.

It's tough up North

We have left the States behind and have arrived in Canada, the first two stops have both been quiet, Saint Johns which we arrived at on Sunday and has a City Ordinance that no commercial business may open before noon. It was like stepping back in time to boyhood in the 50s the only thing open was Church and the Pub opening at noon for 2 hours. There were a few places of local interest open, mainly connected to the sea. The population is quite sparse and many places of value to visit lie a good way inland away from the Bay of Fundy which has the largest tidal range in the world of 25 metres. Both places we have visited have Pink visitor buses, old London Transport Routemasters run in conjunction and raising money for Breast Cancer research, a percentage of every passenger use goes to that extremely good cause. On to Halifax which is a mammoth working harbour, with a city that reflects its connection history and dependency on the sea, again it is one of those places where much of the scenery and interest are way outside the city limits. Someone perhaps unkindly commented "That it will be nice when it's finished"  After all the hub-bub of the States it is hard to get used to the serenity and open spaces of Canada. As today is a seaday and we had towards the St Lawrence seaway on route for Quebec and that part of Canada that is quintasentcialy France I thought I would update you on some of the passengers we met early on in the piece. The Salmon is getting pinker around the gills the further North we get and the curve in his hook becomes more pronounced we get closer to the spawning grounds by the day, I hope my  analogy is not to accurate as if I remember correctly they keep swimming upstream, spawn get caught by bears or end up dying by beaching themselves. I will keep a couple of buckets of water on stand by and get ready to rush him to one of the four on board swimming pools. Talking of pools the pack of three hunters regularly can be seen stalking the various watering holes onboard were unsuspecting males go to rest and take on refreshment, they attempt to cut the odd male out of the herd and proceed to attack as yet without success despite being decked out in their finest mating robes and tribal adornments, when they have had an unsuccessful hunt they turn their attention back to quaffing large amounts of Proseco and turning upon their secondary prey the Waiters who only young are prepared to dangle bait and flirt with the pack but are too experienced to get caught and know the exact moment to run away. Also around the waterholes the lesser spotted Zimmers and Wheelchairs gather later on after sundown initially appearing normal in behaviour, after several hours here they seem to get edgy and difficult to control and quite raucous as they attempt to go off and roost for the night, woe betide any unweary traveller who should get in their way!!!

Barbs

Yesterday was a "Black Dog" day for me, at a beautiful sunset off the coast of Canada I set a  Sunflower loose in the Atlantic Ocean in memory of Barb's. True love stories have no end.