Update

Have managed to sort out the colour of the text and added a few photos.

Hope you have enjoyed the blog, hopefully catch up with you all for the next leg in January.

Time to go

Now the end is near and it's time to reflect on the adventures of the last 12 days, first question to ask is do I like Britannia and would I come on her again? The truth is I don't know some aspects such as the single balcony cabins are great but some aspects such as layout and accessibility and sheer numbers work against her in my opinion. If a cruise came up at the right price and right destinations then I think I would be back again. One of the highlights of the trip for me was last evening sat on my balcony catching the last rays of the day when the ship was joined by a pod of 40~50 dolphins jumping and leaping in the surf put up by the ship, they put on a personal show for a full ten minutes, unforgettable and magical, the only way to see a dolphin show. There have been some real characters amongst the passengers and crew, all shapes and sizes and ages, cruising is a great equaliser, you can always meet someone interesting, like my two Brizzle Ladies, the Ladies from Devon who chatted about Tragoe Mills at Newton Abbot the reverse is also true like the professional Yorkshireman I met and excused myself from very quickly, when my whippet was on fire and needed feeding with Tripe. In short cruising is a bit like musical chairs sometimes you are lucky other time no chair so move on. As with all cruises the staff are the unsung heroes who help you to have such a good time, with very little reward and in some cases thanks, to you all thank you. In the next few days I will put up some photos when I have a fast internet connection and change the type colour which has been caused by technical problems. I hope you have enjoyed this dross I have been churning out, see you again in January for the next adventure.

Back home early morning Southampton

One last Sunset

Gib

Our final port of call today, Gibraltar, initially some bright spark had this earmarked for tender transfers, thankfully this got changed and the said bright spark who planned it has been promoted sideways. The only problem now is the visit has been cut back and is now from 9am to 1pm we have the outer most berth and two other ships are berthed at the same time. An awful lot of people trying to get through customs, get taxis or walk the mile or so into town, once you are there an hour to look around then head back to the boat, some would argue that an hour is more than enough to look around Gib, some would go further and say an hour is too much. I decided not to be part of the cavalry charge and save it and make it a worthwhile visit in the future. I have had a good nose around the ship especially the upper decks were the promenade deck is, deck 17 on this ship on most ships deck 7 is the prom deck, so for the quoit fans (Malcolm) this is were it all happens not over generous with space but not a lot of trouble with crowds invading the pitch. We tower over the Costa Romantica berthed next door,which gives you a true perspective of how big Britannia really is. We also have a grandstand view of the airport and runway which has a main road running across it, the traffic lights turn red when an aircraft is about to land or take off. Hope nobody is colour blind. Just had a sit down for a diet Pepsi by the grab and go fast food outlet, which could have the alternative title of, let yourself go,  just watched a chap have three large bottles of beer served at his table then went and got three Big Mac type burgers, 4 dishes of fries and 6 pieces of Southern Fried chicken for his family, wrong it was a snackette for himself, Sumo wrestler in training and they call this place the Rock.

Gib with the other ships in

Valencia

The best laid plans of mice and men, as the saying from the Robbie Burns poem goes. Valencia the port we stopped at today was one of the few destinations I had pre planned for. I had purchased online tickets from an excellent company called Viator.com purchased my ticket for the Hop on Hop off bus and included with it a ticket to the fabulous walk through Aquarium, having checked all my timings and dates I made the purchase from the comfort of my own home. Having caught the shuttle from the port where we had docked to the City centre and got there on the first bus at 9.30am ready to pick up my connection. I noticed lots of banners and cones about, and a distinct lack of traffic, spotting an Officer of the Guardia Civil we started to have a broken Spanish/English conversation about were does the HoHo bus go from,eventually I twigged that today it is not going, the whole centre is closed to traffic, today is the day of the bicycle!!!! Only cycles allowed in the centre today and as if on cue a phalanx of bikes of all types came down the road as far as the eye could see, with young and old riders,tandems, penny farthings,choppers,lay down bikes, bikes with trailers, bikes by the thousands, and an hour later still they came ringing bells and honking horns, Kings of the Highways for the day, woe betide anything that got in their way, they were even accompanied by Police on Segway's, and this scuppered any plans I had for Valencia. A good excuse to come back to this beautiful city again. Do you believe in coincidence? When I got back to the ship hot, frustrated and annoyed, wishing punctures on cyclists in general I sat down in the Atrium and ordered a Diet Coke, when a camera crew started to assemble to do some filming off ship, a blonde haired lady joined them, the star of the shoot, one Jenni Eclair who I had mentioned in my earlier piece, so it might not have been a look a like I spotted but the real deal. By the way I have not spotted Rob Brydon yet.

The beauty of Valencia from my Balcony

Bloody Cyclists

Cartahagna at its best

Another Saturday Night

Today we are in transit from Cadiz to Valencia  so it has been a lazy day at sea. You are able to indulge in all manner of activities during the day ranging from an audience with Marco Pierre White a lecture on an unsolved murder, a talk about being catering manager for the Queen. Other things you could participate in were talks about avoiding water retention, opals in jewellery, joining a onboard choir, learn line dancing a talk about cheese and wine and tonight is a black tie evening so formal portraits and a black tie ball. So armed with a skinny latte in Cost I run an eye over the runners and riders in the Black Tie and Florence & Fred stakes, one of the first things I have noticed is how many Miranda Hart look-a-likes there are on board followed by several Jenny Eclair doubles (Blonde female Comedienne) among the Men there are several Jason Mamfords a brilliant Charlie Daniels, with shoulder length hair women would kill for. There is also a healthy contingent of the Black Watch complete with sporrans and skiendoes.  For many these evenings are the highlight of the cruise a chance to get dolled up give that special dress an airing, till you find that bitch on the next table is wearing something almost identical "but you carry it off far better darling" to raid the jewellery box and 4 inch heels, in short the best cabaret in town, long may it continue.

Just love watching Sunsets at Sea

Lisbon via the West Country

Arcadia was also in port

Weather has improved the sun is out and we have just docked right in the centre of Lisbon. I decided after a leisurely breakfast to tour the city on a hop on hop off bus. Everyone charged for upstairs so downstairs in in the shade it was for me, I was joined by a couple of sisters from Brizzle and who were on their first cruise, they found it amusing that in there 70s they were cruise virgins. After eventually sorting out the headphones and the right channel for the English commentary off we went around one of the nicest cities in Europe (In my opinion) after passing many statues of geezers on horses and plenty of beautifully laid out parks and tree lined Boulevards they thought it was "quite nice and colourful" quite different from Kingswood. Malcolm will be pleased to know they are Gad supporters. It was quite amusing watching Brits cross roads and taking there lives in there hands by looking the wrong way when crossing the road and insisting it was the foreigners fault for driving on the wrong side of the road (obviously UKIP supporters) After our three hour trip around Lisbon and being informed of the great catastrophes of the earthquakes that have devastated the capital and caused it to be rebuilt several times, they quite seriously informed me with no malice and in all sincerity that they don't think Brizzle has ever had an earthquake. Time to get off and back on board unfortunately one of the Sisters is more bumble footed than me and used a stick, as it was quite a walk back from the bus stop to the cruise terminal I walked with them over the cobble stones, can I hang on to your arm young man (the blind leading the blind) so we waddled back at a very leisurely pace during which I found out about working for WD&HO Wills holidays in Tunisia and many other little nuggets, thanks for making it a trip to Lisbon I won't forget in a hurry Ladies, in a good way. Brits at their best the masters of understatement. 

Henry the Navigator Monument

Lisbon

Britannia so far.

So I have had a few days to find my way around Britannia and I am still undecided how I feel about the latest addition to the P&O stable. My cabin with balcony on the 16th deck is really nice, massive wall mounted flat screen TV with loads of choice in programming. The powers that be have not been slow with the chance to make money on secondary spend by charging for some of the premium films. The bathrooms with shower enclosures are great and roomy. One thing I kept hearing was how small the balconies are, unless you are putting on a cabaret I think they are more than adequate, the only downside I can see is the balcony rail has been raised for obvious safety reasons and is in the eye line when sat. I would also say if you have not got a head for heights avoid cabins on the upper decks they are a long way up or down whichever way you look at it. The sound proofing has improved greatly, above my cabin is open deck and I have not heard a thing. It is noticeable in the dining areas that less staff are covering a lot more passengers and no specialist wine waiters. In the self service dinning area they have installed automated wine and beer dispensers, I kid you not, you swipe your cruise card and your appropriate choice gets charged to your cruise account. The set up for the buffet dining is very good the layout is excellent the serving islands are able to open and close independently so there is always plenty of choice along with plenty of seating. Another innovation is serving tea and coffee at your table, the menus are varied and imaginative everyone should be able to find something to suit. This is only a cursory over view there are also negatives, you always seem to have to wait a long time for lifts to arrive, on many decks there are no direct routes between venues on the same deck, which can be very annoying. In places it seems that there is an awful lot of wasted space. On this cruise ports stops have been daily so the fight for sunbathing space has not been too bad but on a Caribbean jaunt I could see this being a major problem, also on sea days. As you might have guessed from my observations it reinforces Britannia's image of being a  marmite ship. More to come on other aspects of life onboard.

Self Service Booze

Lisbon from my Balcony

Raindrops

The rain in Spain is most definitely not falling on the plain, it would appear to be dumping it on Vigo with a vengeance. After another tumultuous night transit around Cape Finistare where the winds reached Force 9, I am reassured this was not as a result of the Indian Buffet but the tail end of a tropical storm. So we got into port an hour later than scheduled which threw the OCD passengers into complete disarray. So after a leisurely breakfast I positioned myself in Costa (skinny latte Lisa) to do some serious people watching, now remember it is tipping it down, misty and the temperature has dropped quicker than the Greek Economy, the Brits abroad will still dress as if it is 90 in the shade, so there is a fine display of Bermuda Shirts, shorts of every type and length imaginable, one pair that are little more than a posing pouch to others that resemble de-mob shorts from 1945, the one common factor is they all have a fine display of goose bumps and in many cases accompanied by varicose veins looking like maps of the London Underground (and that's the women). Socks with sandals and trainers are on display everywhere, nothing says Brit on holiday more, it has become the quintessential sign of Britishness more so than the bowler hat or the pin striped suit. We have just had an announcement that the emergency power system is about to be tested and please do not use the lifts for the next half hour, now if I were a betting man what odds do you think I could get. Got the mobile got the number for Bet Fred, talk later peeps.

The central Atrium

A clean getaway. Almost

When I arrived at Southampton Cruise Terminal at my new system allotted time of 4pm I expected to breeze in and be whisked aboard using my priority boarding for the first time. Wrong the departure area was clock full of people not a seat to be had and nobody getting on board. What happened was because the sea was choppy and the Britannia so big it was moving on its berth and the method of boarding a mobile air bridge is designed to disconnect if it senses any movement for safety purposes, which meant nobody was going anywhere in a hurry and still the people came at the new improved boarding times to prevent congestion, I believe that is called irony. After getting on board and locating my cabin on the 16th deck, the next challenge was trying to find your way around this gargantuan, if it happened this is what Jonah must of felt like when swallowed by the whale. I was in good company as bands of lost souls were wandering around clutching there little folding deck plans designed for those with super eyesight, I don't know about these schematics we needed Sat Nav systems, belay that it would give P&O another opportunity to charge for something on their all inclusive cruises. Having navigated my way to the Crows Nest bar (I was looking for an outside deck) I thought it would be rude to pass straight through, so after having a look at the bewildering array of drinks on offer, I must add almost impossible to read from the menu in the atmospheric lighting (dingy) I plumped for a G&T my first alcoholic drink for 9 months, in a moment of weakness the barman persuaded me to try a new line they had called the "Perfect Gin & Tonic" which I did and it was not bad, that was until I got the bill £7.50, who was that perfect for? Diet Coke from this point forward. It did come in a nice glass I should of done a Janet. After a good nights sleep rock and rolling over the Bay of Biscay (5 metre sea swell) I am sure I will not be such in such an Old Fart mode.

Barb's at the Seaside

Where to start, so much ammunition. Most important first Barbs sunflower went overboard as we sailed down the Solent just as the sun was setting and a gale blowing, seemed appropriate somehow. My first mission was to find a deck that was open to the public on this aircraft carrier posing as an Ocean Liner, having done this I canceled my first opportunity as we were opposite Crawley Oil refinery and Barbs would never have forgiven me consigning the sunflower in her memory next to the 4 star. So I waited a while until we had passed Osbourne House another inappropriate place if you new her opinions on the monarchy. So Newport on the Isle of Wight it was, given its history with the world famous regatta and Barb's background working for Cornish Crabbers and Skiff racing it was just the right place to put her flower into the briney and give her the annual report.

New Adventure around the corner

Greetings everyone just getting my act together for my next jaunt on P&Os latest ship Britannia

Judging by the various groups on the Internet she certainly divides opinion, very much a Marmite ship. Hopefully I will give you my opinion for what it is worth, meanwhile time to dust off the suitcase and play PMT (Passport, Money,Tickets) then join Britannia as requested at 4-30 on the 14th September.

 I will do my best to keep you amused and informed