A clean getaway. Almost

When I arrived at Southampton Cruise Terminal at my new system allotted time of 4pm I expected to breeze in and be whisked aboard using my priority boarding for the first time. Wrong the departure area was clock full of people not a seat to be had and nobody getting on board. What happened was because the sea was choppy and the Britannia so big it was moving on its berth and the method of boarding a mobile air bridge is designed to disconnect if it senses any movement for safety purposes, which meant nobody was going anywhere in a hurry and still the people came at the new improved boarding times to prevent congestion, I believe that is called irony. After getting on board and locating my cabin on the 16th deck, the next challenge was trying to find your way around this gargantuan, if it happened this is what Jonah must of felt like when swallowed by the whale. I was in good company as bands of lost souls were wandering around clutching there little folding deck plans designed for those with super eyesight, I don't know about these schematics we needed Sat Nav systems, belay that it would give P&O another opportunity to charge for something on their all inclusive cruises. Having navigated my way to the Crows Nest bar (I was looking for an outside deck) I thought it would be rude to pass straight through, so after having a look at the bewildering array of drinks on offer, I must add almost impossible to read from the menu in the atmospheric lighting (dingy) I plumped for a G&T my first alcoholic drink for 9 months, in a moment of weakness the barman persuaded me to try a new line they had called the "Perfect Gin & Tonic" which I did and it was not bad, that was until I got the bill £7.50, who was that perfect for? Diet Coke from this point forward. It did come in a nice glass I should of done a Janet. After a good nights sleep rock and rolling over the Bay of Biscay (5 metre sea swell) I am sure I will not be such in such an Old Fart mode.