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Testing email posting update on "Travels with Charlwood"

Some odd photos from the Cruise

 St John's, Antigua just after rain storm

 Same street 20 minutes later

Oriana in Dominica

Guardians of the Chaplin Cinema on board Oriana

Made it to Horta at Last

On previous trips to the Caribbean, Horta has always been on the itenerrary but because it is by tender the weather has always been to rough to launch and go across, this time the weather was perfect to go ashore. Unfortunately the Charlwood nether regions were in a state of turbulence at about Beaufort Scale 10 which percluded me from doing the transfer, so I still have not managed to visit Horta, one day.

Homeward Bound

Now the end is near(make a good opening for a song that) time to reflect on the trip and the people I have met along the way and some of the events. On a personal note there were three or four days that I was scared to cough or sneeze because the outcome could of been catastrophic, I could well of had the best suntanned legs on board, something didn't agree with me, it all settled down, thank god for Imodium. One person sadly passed away during the cruise, I understand that there is a special storeage facility on board and special procedures that are gone through to return the person to the UK, I have not been able to face frozen peas since I was given this information. P&O continue to practice piracy on the high seas with their pricing regime for internet usage, £64 for 240 minutes, with lesser times proportionately dearer still, crew members who are also charged extortionate prices wait to hit port and find free wifi access so they can contact home during their nine month contracts. I have been fortunate to meet many nice people during the cruise, also a few who are full of their own self importance and are quick to "address you like a public meeting" to them in the wise words of Mrs Agnes Brown " That's Nice"
I know it's time to come home and face the cat as I found myself making out a shopping list for Tesco's, how sad is that? At this point in every cruise I find myself thinking how brilliant the staff on board are, they work remarkably hard and are always cheerful and smiling for a pittance of a wage, and have to endure some obnoxious behaviour from passengers at times, they seem to be powered by Duracell batteries, thanks guys for making it a trip to remember, yet again.

Nature Watch

As the temperature begins to drop by about two degrees a day the fight is on for space on deck to squeeze the last bit of tanning potential out of the sun. If you are up early enough a get a seat just outside the Conservatory eatery and arm yourself with a cup of coffee and a croissant at a table tucked away in the corner of the Lido deck over looking the grandly named "Crystal Pool" (Techie note, good Chlorine Levels, poor pH 7.9 not sure of TDS but pretty sure incontinence is the issue) you can assume the role of David Attenborough observing a watering hole in the Kruger National Park. The elders of the pack approach the area with the confidence of many seasons behind them, moving a little slower now but looking for all the signs, estimating the course and track of the sun, licking the finger and testing for wind, weather wise not personal, estimating the premier spot with optimum opportunity and starting the complicated business of nest building for them self and their mate. This is shortly followed by the dance of the beach towel as it is spread and denotes their territory which prevents others encroaching, this is followed by moving other items into the area preventing other nest builders from getting too close, but at the same time as moving items of furniture about, such as small tables to place all the paraphernalia needed for this 10 hour ritual. If at any time others try to invade the site, it can lead to major displays of anger and subtle retaliation. It should be noted that the urinating on items to denote the nest site area is no longer practised intentionally but I am not sure about in the watering hole, see my Techie Note, I thinks tis is more to do with Arthritis, Hip Replacements and steep pool ladders and being able to get out in time. Once established the site is never left unattended for fear of a Cuckoo entering the nest, items are placed to discourage interlopers, such as books, hats, IPads, sun creams and other various unctions, this is most noticeable at feeding times, when partners take it in turns to eat, or alternatively the female of the species circles the Buffett with an expert eye, and armed with several napkins gathers rolls, cold meats & fruit to take back to the communal nest. So it carries on throughout the day until the last ray of sunlight leaves the sky and silence returns to the watering hole, only for it all to be repeated tomorrow.

Does Lightning strike twice in the same place?

In my previous blog I regaled you with story of the Loo Water flooding of my dining companion's cabin in the early hours of the morning. Does Lightning Strike in the same place twice? Is there such a thing as a Jonah? Do Bears shit in the wood? Well that Finger of Fate had not stopped flying yet, it came back to the same cabin in the early hours of the morning two days to do a lap of honour and deposit the contents of the said loo system into his bathroom and part of his bedroom floor again. It was almost a complete repeat performance again, but detected a bit earlier this time, so the area of damp or as he called it " The tide did not rise as far this time " (Typical English understatement & reserve). Taking it all in his stride after the clean up operation again, he wrote a stiff letter, to the House Services Manager suggesting that this should not be happening, once is an accident, twice is downright careless and he might want to consider some form of compensation for inconvenience and lack of sleep. A very calm and measured response, compared to most of us. If Barbs had been on board and it had happened to her (She took these things very personally) she would be several hundred pounds better off, had a discount or free future cruise, and been displaying a new set off earrings made of someone's testicles before the cock crowed the dawn. (fact).

Things that go bump in the night again

On every trip there always seems one person that everything seems to happen to, every piece of bad luck that is possible seems to be attracted to this person, like iron filings to a magnet. It is not a pleasant position to be in as I well  know to my own cost after an ill fated journey to Arnhem in Holland, but that's another story for another time.
You may recall one of my dinning partners had an issue with an ear infection and blood on his pillow, we'll the flying fickle finger of fate has singled him out again to be the recipient of her cruel humour. Whilst in the land of nod he was convinced he could hear the sound of the sea breaking against the rocks, banging against rocks, so real was his dream that he woke up with a start he decided to get up. The minute he put his feet over the side of his bed he was aware of a wet sensation and water or something ankle deep and lights suddenly coming on and people in his room, being without his hearing aid he was just a bit disorientated to say the least,not sure if was a dream or real, had we struck a rock and sinking, Costa Concordia style? It certainly was real, he was ushered back on to his bed well several maintenance crew members dashed to his bathroom to turn the water off. During the early hours of the morning the toilet system in four cabins had backed up and started to flow profusely into the bathroom and out into the bedroom to a depth of three inches, remember this is not clean water direct from the mains. He sat like a Sheikh in the middle of his bed as everything swung into action, the first thing after the excess water was got rid of, was the old carpet was ripped up a space heater run for ten minutes, hoovered through a new carpet laid down, everything cleaned and tidied, the two odd items of clothes that had been caught in the deluge taken away and put into the ships laundry, they apologised for any inconvenience, turned off the lights and wished him goodnight. Surreal or what?