A small Pianist

Dotted around the ship are several baby grand pianos at watering holes and the main atrium which at various times of day have their ivories tinkled by a 5ft 7in pianist straight out of a Grecian 2000 advertisement of European extraction. As he goes from venue to venue during the day and evenings he has a faithful set of groupies from the blue rinse brigade who follow and in some cases stalk him around his venues with steam coming from the zimmers and walking sticks, and woe betide you if you get in their way and spoil their view of the performance. During his more complicated pieces usually his variations on melodies from the shows as the performance reaches a faster tempo he subscribes to the Eric Morecombe school of playing "All the right notes but not necessarily in the right order" but should you let accuracy get in the way of a good performance especially if you receive a sitting ovation with much rattling of jewellery. Then the fight is on to send him a drink, usually a brandy and the ultimate prize for the maestro to acknowledge you and the ultimate orgasm to join you at your table and talk to you and your daughter who chaperones the event whilst suppressing her own wishes and protecting the family fortune otherwise known as her inheritance. I have just passed the maestro (off duty) escorting a lady who is a dead ringer for Dame Edna Everage but Dame Edna is a better mover and has better legs for a stroll around the deck between tinkerings pass me a brandy, they are arm in arm not for romantic purposes but to support her and keep her upright. The guy is a bit of a chancer but at least he has a constant stream of free brandy, dinner companions and he is doing his bit for Help the Aged. The Ladies have an interesting time with some great stories of their conquest when they get back to Clevedon and the Luncheon Club & Streadent Swopping parties..