Gotcha

Gotcha

P&O are getting crafty in there old age! After seven years of reasonably trouble free first day cruising they have devised a fool proof method of making sure you attend the safety talk and life jacket wearing demonstration. Some of us including Lord Radstock and Lady Hertfordshire have devised methods to avoid this practice. Now all passengers have to present their cruise card and have it scanned to prove attendance, failure means you have to attend a defaulters safety drill and go in the naughty book. The drill was worth attending not only for its importance in its own right but being able to observe so many diverse passengers in a confined space with ages going from 6 months to late nineties and all stops in-between. The first thing you can pick out is the rebellious, for an hour before tannoy is warning you of the drill and not to wear your life jacket until you are shown the correct methodology. So at least 50% of the assembled cast and extras of Titanic the remake turn up with them on and fastenings trailing on the floor. Some people trip on the offending trailing straps, other people tread on them having the effect of car seat belts in a crash, immediate stopping of forward momentum and in some cases immediate garrotting. For those who have cruised or of a nautical bent will know life jackets are fitted with a whistle and a flashing light, within seconds the room resembles an aviary that has been infiltrated by a fox, that combined with various hearing aids whistling away at an even higher pitch, this was accompanied by a flashing light show of white flashing fairy illumination (I have never understood how an aircraft at 10,000 feet is going to spot that) At this point it felt like you were attending a Rod Stewart concert and we were only seconds away from someone leading the massed throngs of the naughty in a rendition of "Sailing". Luckily sanity broke out when the person in charge called for order and the removal of life jackets, it was a good job you could hear him over the mutterings of the disgruntled, as I looked around and eventually located the owner of the voice, who was vertically challenged and looked like a test pilot for airfix. As the rest of the demo passed off fairly peacefully and needing minimal audience participation. On being dismissed one or two were unhappy we had not had the chance to get into lifeboats. So thanks P&O your need for health and safety coupled with compliance has given me an opening to the blog and some thoughts for more things to write about, I am currently investigating spot the person without the tattoo