They don't like it up them

Breakfast had its light entertainment this morning, after I finally managed to get a table to partake of my muesli and fruit smoothie I was on the corner of the serving area close to the fresh fruit section and various breads and the toaster. First contestant came along a lady of senior years carrying a napkin, she circled the fruit and when it was clear descended on it like a peregrine falcon who had spotted a harvest mouse. First to go were the apples, closely followed by the oranges, then the plums and finally the bananas and to be fair she was quite selective with these as she kindly left the over ripe ones behind. Nowhere in the daily cruise paper the Horizon did I see that there was a Carmen Miranda hat making competition, so I can only assume she has brought her fruit bat "Kevin" on holiday with her or she is a greedy selfish mare. Hands up which option are you voting for? My attention was then diverted to the industrial standard toast making machine. A senior gentleman not unlike Corporal Jones of Dads Army fame started to load up the conveyor belt with white bread and it duly fed it's self into Dante's Inferno, well what happened was he must of overloaded it because it developed a blockage (unlike myself at the moment) and smoke started to emanate from the mouth of the machine. He bent down armed with a fork and tried to break the log jam, one piece came flying out looking like it was well done and had been spread with a generous covering of Marmite. The other pieces would not come out no matter how manfully he stabbed and goaded with his fork, by this point smoke is starting to come out of every opening on the machine, the conveyor belt is still happily whirring away and a large space is starting to clear as customers retreat a safe distance. Serving staff arrive from all angles to deal with the potential as one cruiser put it, this Titanic type incident, I did point out our problem would of been the complete opposite, fire not ice. They quickly disconnected the machine and placed dampened clothes around it and proceeded to get the charcoal remains of the bread out, hoping that the smoke detectors would not go off and then the sprinkler system, oh how we laughed. Unsurprisingly it was taken out of commission, I notice now there is a member of staff there with his hygienic purple gloves on taking the bread from you and feeding it into "The Jaws of Hell". Cruising is a laugh a minute.

Exhibit 1